billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
