"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
