so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
