he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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