its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize