i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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