And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize