when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
