party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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