this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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