he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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