The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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