I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
FUCK WHALES
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
