she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
