..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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