Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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