Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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