my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Dear god my vagina.
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