Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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