I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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