it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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