i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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