Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize