so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
