He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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