you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
