I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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