I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
