it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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