why didn't you poke me back
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
