shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
