So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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