Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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