Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
