so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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