Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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