I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
