How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
