He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
being pregnant is like rehab
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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