yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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