I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
