so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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