Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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