He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
