a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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