I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
