return my video game
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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