i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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