If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
