just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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