Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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