Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
