Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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