all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize