well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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